The study used data provided by 841 men using an anonymous computerized survey.  The study found that the boys who engaged in this kind of activity prior to 18 years old were approximately 15% more likely to insert objects into their rectums and/or urethras into adulthood.  It also increased the likelihood of them wanting to use objects in relation to their partner’s genitals and/or anus.

These results are not surprising since we know that many habits as well as likes/dislikes (including sexual ones) can have their roots in childhood.

Younger adults have far more STDs than seniors, but the rates are growing at far higher rates in older adults.

Older adults appear to ignore safe sex practices. 50-year-olds are six times less likely to use a condom than men in their 20s.

The most commonly found STD was HIV, followed by chlamydia, syphilis and gonorrhea.

The risk of contracting an STD is more than twice as high in men taking erectile dysfunction drugs compared with those who didn’t.

Men older than 40 years remain sexually active, even if they need chemical assistance to do so. Sex after age 40 years is not necessarily safe sex.

Advice?  Realize that you are at higher risk for STDs, and try to be careful like you used to be 30 years ago.

That’s what a study by DeLamater and Hyde said a decade or so ago.  They found that whether or not a woman was at home, worked 20 hours or less, 40 hours, or even 60 hours a week, work had a negligible effect on how much sex they had. 

They said the real culprit to low sexual desire was fatigue, and whether or not the woman liked her job. 

This was reprinted recently in the news but I feel the article can leave the wrong impression.

Fatigue is the number one cause of low sexual desire in women.  But to say that no matter how many hours of work you’ve done you’ll still want to have sex as long as you like your job just doesn’t make practical sense.

Long job hours and fatigue are so closely interwoven; I don’t think they can truly be separated.

There are, however, times that premature ejaculation is expected and normal.  Some of these times are:  when a man has not had sex in a while; when he starts to have intercourse with a new person; when the sexual position, location, time, etc. is new; when there is distress in the relationship.

Premature ejaculation is the easiest male sexual problem to treat.  Treatments are successful, relatively fast, and easy to do.  Men are usually very relieved to find this out and wish they had sought treatment earlier.

A good book on the subject is P.E.: How to Overcome Premature Ejaculation by Helen Singer Kaplan, available online and at bookstores locally.  However remember that treatment books can only give a general description of the problem and its treatment and is not tailored to each individual.

Premature ejaculation is the third most frequent problem men seek to fix in sex therapy.

According to NASW President James Kelly, “human rights are universal, regardless of sexual orientation.  Criminal penalties against individuals based on their sexual orientation violate basic human rights, demeans human dignity, and undermines efforts to limit the spread of HIV.”

NASW lends its support to court cases of national importance involving same sex couples.

Examples are:

• Legalizing same sex marriages in D.C.
• Legalizing same sex couples ability to legally adopt in N.C.
• Extension of hospital visitation rights to same-sex partners.  Hospitals are no longer able to deny hospital visitation on basis of race, color, religion, or sexual orientation.
• Changes in military protocol of opening an inquiry of a service member’s sexual orientation based on overheard statements or hear say.

1.  Spending increasing amounts of online time focused on sexual or romantic intrigue or involvement.

2.  Involvement in multiple romantic or sexual affairs in chat rooms, Internet or BBS.

3.  Not considering online sexual or romantic “affairs” to be a possible violation of spousal/partnership commitments.

4.  Failed attempts to cut back on frequency of online or Internet sexual and romantic involvement or interaction.

5.  Online use interferes with work (tired or late due to previous night’s use, online while at work, etc.).

6.  Online use interferes with primary relationships (e.g., minimizing or lying to partners about online activities, spending less time with family or partners).

7.  Intense engagement in collecting Internet pornography.

8.  Engaging in fantasy online acts or experiences which would be illegal if carried out (e.g., rape, child molestation).

9.  Decreased social or family interactive time due to online fantasy involvements.

10.  Being secretive or lying about amount of time spent online or type of sexual/romantic fantasy activities carried out online.

11.  Engaging with sexual or romantic partners met online, while also involved in marital or other primary relationship.

12.  Increasing complaints and concern from family or friends about the amount of time spent online.

13.  Frequently becoming angry or extremely irritable when asked to give up online involvement to engage with partners, family or friends.

14.  Primary focus of sexual or romantic life becomes increasingly related to computer activity.

Lawmakers said they did not want to be accused of wasting time addressing a rare crime when Floridians needed them to help create jobs. They also did not want to debate this subject in public meetings where children might attend.

“The whole thing just kind of collapsed, unfortunately, and so we are back to square one,” said Nan Rich, the Senate’s incoming minority leader, who has tried since 2008 to close this loophole in the law.

News reports of Floridians having sex with animals are infrequent.

“While it is not something that we think is a widespread problem, Florida ought to be able to prosecute these cases when they do happen,” said Jennifer Hobgood, Florida State Director for the Humane Society of the United States.

Florida has an animal cruelty law, which prohibits tormenting or hurting an animal.  But apparently is is not as easy to prove that the sexual act tormented the animal as it would be to say it is illegal to have sex with an animal.

The Senate passed the measure twice, but it did not earn as much as a hearing in the House until this session. The ban was tucked into an agriculture bill, which passed in the House.

But the Senate passed a different agriculture bill on the last day of the session that would have allowed some gun owners to store their guns in their vehicles in previously exempted locations. The bill also added a fertilizer provision that would make it easier for localities to approve strict ordinances. With mere hours left before the session’s close, the House refused to take up the gun and fertilizer language, effectively slaying the agriculture bill.

A separate bill that addressed only bestiality never made it to the House floor.

According to “Enhancing Empathy” by Bays and Longo, one-in-four women report being raped (forced to have oral, anal and/or vaginal sex against their will) after the age of 18.  Women aren’t the only victims; children and men are also raped.  It is estimated that as many as 80,000 men are raped everyday in American prisons. 

• Rape is not an expression of sexual desire; it is an act of sexual violence.  It’s about the desire for power and domination.  Rapists use forced sex to humiliate and degrade victims.
• Being raped is traumatic, one of the worst events that a person can experience.  Any person who thinks that a victim want to be raped is wrong.
• Pornography does not cause rapes.  Those who think of their victims as sexual objects are more likely to use pornography which fuels violent fantasies.
• Rapists can rape anyone anywhere.  Most rapes occur in the victim’s home.  There are victims as young as 6 months of age and as old as 90.
• Rapes occur every time of day and night, summer, fall, winter and spring.
• Rapists often blame the victim to avoid taking responsibility for their crimes.  Some victims may comply with the rapist’s demands because they are in fear for their lives.  Compliance is not the same as consent.
• Every person has a right to say no to sex and to have their statement respected without fear of harm.  Marrying someone does not give a person the right to rape.  Having sex with someone when she/he does not want it is not love or lust.  It is rape.

Before the feminist movement in the 1970s, reports of child sexual abuse were generally downplayed or dismissed.  Women who reported abuse were often made to feel as if there were crazy or that is was somehow their fault.  As a result, most abuse was never reported or talked about.

More recently, there has been a lot of publicity on the subject in media headlines.  Many people are now familiar with a victim (either a woman or a man) reporting that they had forgotten about the abuse for many years and are now remembering it, often with the help of a therapist.

When they accuse the alleged abuser, that person’s response is often one of shock, followed by denial.  The alleged abuser may say that these memories are figments of the imagination of the victim.  This controversy has led to an important debate on “false memories” vs. “recovered memories.”

Arguments over this issue can become quite heated.  Some clarification of the terms “false memories” and “recovered memories” might be helpful. A repressed memory is a memory of a traumatic situation that is buried in the subconscious. The person is not aware of its existence.  A recovered memory is a repressed memory that is brought to consciousness so that an individual becomes aware of it.  Recovered memories are assumed to be from an actual even that had been repressed.  A false memory is fictitious – “memory” of an event that never occurred.

The advocates of the “recovered memory” process explain that repressed memories may be brought to the conscious mind through hypnosis, relaxation techniques or dream interpretation.  Some therapists think that if a client has certain symptoms such as low sexual desire, anxiety or difficulty maintaining relationships, it might indicate childhood sexual abuse that the client has repressed memories about.

The therapist may then use one of the above methods to elicit the memories.  Remembering these memories and learning ways to cope with them is believed to free the client of unwanted symptoms.

Those on the other side of the controversy say that people sometimes combine, confuse or invent memories to help define who they are as an individual.  They say that there are no controlled research studies supporting the theory that people repress memories of traumatic events.  In fact, some research supports that false memories can be created by repeatedly asking people the same questions until they “remember” events that never happened.  And of course, there are some therapists who may unintentionally suggest that the patient was abused. 

Since there is no conclusive scientific evidence to firmly support one side and completely disprove the other, the debate continues to this day. 

Therapists who are experienced and up-to-date on current literature will take all this information into account in the treatment of patients.

Approximately 20% to 60% of those viewing the internet porn indicated that it was problematic for them.  In several analyses, viewing pornography had the strongest negative effects in the psych/spiritual domain and on actual behavioral outcomes (e.g. relationships were damaged, problem at work or school).  Of course if looking at pornography is contrary to an individual’s values or morals, then this behavior would also be experienced as problematic.

What was interesting with this study was that the negative effects of viewing porn were partially dependent on how much the participants attempted to control their sexual thoughts and urges during and after viewing.  So for those who look at porn, then have increases in sexual urges and then try to exert more control over those urges, their porn viewing becomes more and more problematic.  It’s a cycle – the more they fight it, the more they want it, the more they do it and start back all over again.

Although these results are interesting, studies about human sexuality are ongoing.