This is not a surprise for most people – men like to look. Sometimes looking involves secrecy. Sneaking a look down the blouse of a woman standing next to you, peeking through a half open doorway, glancing in a window as you pass by a neighbor’s at night, looking up the dress of a woman on an open stairway, etc. Is it the sneaking what’s being seen or a combination of both?

Sometimes (especially in a fantasy) it is watching a woman in various states of undress and not caring that you are being seen. Sometimes it’s even her being the initiator of the activity because that’s what turns her on!

Visual stimulation can also be about being made to watch. Perhaps watching but not being allowed to participate in the sexual action. Or watching a woman pleasure herself and her enjoying you watching.

As with other sexual fantasies. The ones about watching are often taken to extremes because society often does not allow them to happen without consequences. And we as human beings sometimes have fantasies about things we cannot have.

CLICK HERE to look at previous blog entries.

This fantasy is all about where the deed is done, not with whom, since it can be done with anyone the fantisizer would like. What makes this sexual fantasy so popular is the actual location of the sexual act. The steps of the capital, the beach at Maui, the ex-wife’s bedroom, her ex-husband’s bedroom, the forest (always a choice spot), behind the pines on a ski slope, or by the fire in a cabin on the lake. The location can be one that is known (the place you go every summer) or imaginary (on a spaceship in the future).

The location can also be paired up with another different sexual interest of the man. An example for someone with exhibitionist tendencies, might be a fantasy of sex on the stage of an auditorium filled with an unsuspecting audience. For those sexually interested in feet – a shoe store packed with customers who had removed their shoes, and he’s the salesman! For men who like special thrills, the fantasy might be driving the Indy 500 while his fantasy woman gives him oral sex.

The list is endless when you have a well developed sense of creative thought.

CLICK HERE to look at previous blog entries.

This particular fantasy involves men’s interest in sexually provocative clothing, including shoes. A sexual interest in a non animate object (this means something that’s not a living, breathing entity) is called a fetish. So, a person who has a strong sexual interest in leather clothing has what’s known as a leather fetish. Someone who is turned on by women’s stockings has what is called a stocking fetish and so on. Sometimes fetish objects are used by couples in sexual role playing. An example of this might be a woman who dresses up as a prostitute, including the fish net stockings, studded black high heels and leather dress slit up the sides with a plunging neckline, with obviously fake diamond earrings and necklace. This example used several fetish objects or dress for the role playing of a prostitute. Role playing a nurse may involve not only her nurses clothing but an enema bag, a stethoscope, and perhaps a syringe.

Some people are so interested in the actual fetish objects that they don’t care about role playing or anything else as long as the object, which may be the clothing itself, is involved in the sex.

Some common clothing interests are panties, bras, girdles, teddies, stockings, high heels. Other clothing is specific to a certain job such as maid, nurse, woman wrestler, and so on. And then there is the clothing that indicates a certain age like infant (diapers), young child, or even an older person.

As with other fantasies, the imagination is the central issue as the person lets go of judgment about himself and others.

CLICK HERE to look at previous blog entries.

So now we will proceed to set the mood for the top 5 men’s favorite sexual fantasies, beginning with the next blog…

CLICK HEREto look at previous blog entries.

This fantasy can take many different pathways.

For the woman who feels like she’s had it with overbearing, arrogant, and bossy men, her sexual fantasy may be intermingled with some revenge. This could look like taking the man of her choice (perhaps the overbearing, arrogant, bossy man, or not…..) and having him lick her shoes clean while wearing a maids outfit and nothing on under it, then walk him around on all fours with a leash in the backyard while “playfully” whipping his backside because he wasn’t going fast enough. Then when she has had enough of that, she puts on the pants, the trench coat, and the hat, straps on a male appendage and has her way with him wherever she wants and however she wants…..

For those not into revenge, the picture may be quite toned down, but still leaves no doubt as to who’s in charge and what will be done. Examples might be endless oral sex (him on her of course), pampering of all kinds including back rubs, serving of drinks and/or meals, or anything else that pleases her. In this fantasy there is little or no regard for what he wants. She may decide to reward him with some sexual favors “if he has been good enough, “or just have him continue to serve her. In the woman’s mind, she sees herself in the man’s role. This could be an all sexual fantasy, or one combined with what she sees as the mans emotional role. A combination would be to take on a man’s emotions and personality but then to join that with what she believes a man would or could do sexually.

Next series of blogs (because what’s good for the goose is good for the gander): Top 5 Men’s Sexual Fantasies.

CLICK HERE to look at previous blog entries.

It could be anything from a little kiss or some breast play, to full sexual contact. It could be a fantasy about the woman next door, a female relative of your male partner, or your favorite actress.

The emotional connection between the women might be part of the fantasy too. Does she know her or not? Sex with a stranger vs. sex with a known lover helps the fantasy to take shape. And just like in porn flicks – there could be an actual plot to the story or it can be just straight sex. As with any fantasy, only your imagination sets the limits.

There is another aspect of this particular fantasy that’s of interest. And that is whether the woman feels a strong need to be taken care of at the time.

If this is occurring because she’s undergone some tough times in her life recently, or is currently upset, sick, depressed, or feeling unloved, the need to be taken care of could play a part in the fantasy. Feeling the gentle touch or the physical caretaking from another woman can play a major (or minor) part of the fantasy. Sometimes it is the only part! If that’s true, then we would have to question whether it is really a sexual fantasy or just a fantasy about having someone take care of you.

Whatever the combination of factors, the sexual fantasy is just what it says – a fantasy.

Next week it will be Women’s Fantasy #5 – the last one in this series. Then we will move on to the next topic.

CLICK HERE to look at previous blog entries.

One of the men may be the woman’s partner, ex lover, or someone else known to her. Perhaps both may be known to her, or both may be complete strangers.

The fantasy may even take the direction of the men fighting over her, with the winner taking possession of the woman (in the ways she would most enjoy).

A somewhat different scenario may include an audience watching in rapt attention as the women revels in the favors or one (or both) of the men. Some creative women include audience participation in one form or another.

Sexual fantasies, whether womens’ or mens’ usually do not indicate dissatisfaction with their own partner, even when the fantasy is about someone else. Remember, thinking about something is different than doing it!

Stay tuned for sexual fantasy #4 next week.

CLICK HEREto look at previous blog entries.

This week we move on to the #2 top sexual fantasy for women, which is “Please don’t make me do it”.

As human beings, we think or even daydream about many things. Some of these thoughts or fantasies may actually be against what we, as a person consider normal, ethical, or even intelligent. Examples – Couple going through a rough patch and daydreaming about how all the fun they would have if only they were divorced, a person fantasizing about beating the tar out of the teenaged boys who set off a cherry bomb in their mailbox, an overwhelmed mom who daydreams about flying off to an island and being waited on hand and foot, and there are many, many others. What purpose do these thoughts have if they contradict our belief system and on top of that, may even make us feel guilty? In addition to our moral and ethical beliefs and thoughts, we also have an array of feelings. And here’s where we get into the possibility of these areas being in conflict with each other. A woman’s thoughts may be in conflict with her feelings and both want to be heard and understood by her. So, as we discuss the next fantasy, we will do it with an understanding that fantasy is different from reality, and feelings are different from thoughts.

The #2 top woman’s sexual fantasy “Please don’t make me do it” is about being forced to have a sexual experience. It may be that the woman is being verbally threatened to comply, or physically made to do it. It could be touching, kissing, or anywhere up to full intercourse and/or other sexual activities.

No matter what the method of force or the level of sexual activity, it is a common fantasy that sometimes boggles the mind of the women having it. Women often ask, “Why do I have this fantasy about being raped when I don’t really want to be raped?” The answer is: At times women (and sometimes men) feel the weight of life’s constant responsibilities on them. Decisions at work, at home, about their kids, their parents, life in general. So the need to let someone else take the lead, make the decision, take over something – can be a factor in having this particular fantasy. The idea of a man taking over the sexual situation can provide a sense of relief (“I don’t have to make this decision”) and it can be exciting to have an attitude that’s very different for us (“I can’t take any responsibility here, even if I wanted to or thought I should”).

So the feelings of relief and excitement for a woman of not taking responsibility are usually in conflict with her thoughts and beliefs that rape or forced sexual contact is wrong on many levels. That makes this fantasy one that can be accompanied by guilt.

Join me next week for #3 of the top sexual fantasies for women.

CLICK HEREto look at previous blog entries.

Do you know which one is enjoyed by the most women?

Well, for those who haven’t guessed, it is what I’ll call, “The Perfect Lover”. The exact characteristics of the perfect lover will be different from woman to woman, but the attribute that they’ll all have in common is that this man will know exactly what to do, and how to do it. No learning curve for him! No having to ask for what you want, no repeating lessons not learned previously! He already knows.

The timing, the touch, the words are all given in the ways that fulfill the woman both emotionally and sexually. All attuned to her specific needs at that time. So, if she is going through difficulties in her life he will be right there to comfort her in the ways she needs most. If she wants just fun, he can provide that too.

This fantasy man will look just the way she would like him to, whether it’s “not a hair out of place” or a much rougher version of handsome. He will be dressed (or not) for the occasion of the fantasy, and will have the attitude that is guaranteed to delight.

The way the perfect lover acts and as well as looks, may change drastically from time to time (depending on the woman’s needs at that moment) or he may stay basically the same, fantasy after tantalizing fantasy….

In reality, many men have difficulty trying to figure out exactly what the woman wants sexually and otherwise. This is in part because the woman may not know what she wants or has trouble asking directly for it. And the man often does not know the most effective ways to help her express it to him. Adding to all this, is the anxiety that talking about sex generates in this culture. It’s a wonder that information gets communicated at all!

Tune in next week for the second most frequent sexual fantasy for women.

CLICK HEREto look at previous blog entries.

If you ask a man what his sexual fantasies are, almost all men can tell you. It’s clear to them what a sexual fantasy is and how to define it. Women on the other hand may not be quite as clear, or may not define it the way men do. However, there are many women that can tell you in shivering detail exactly what their fantasies are. For others, a romance novel, an intimate dinner for 2, slow dancing under the bright stars, or a quiet conversation while watching the sun go down, may stir her longings for his touch. Are these fantasies or sexually proactive activities? Does the terminology matter?

And why would you want to know the most common fantasies of women? Of course, to fulfill those desires – if that’s what’s wanted! (Some people just prefer the daydreams but don’t really want to turn it into real life…..) So join me again next week to see if you know what the #1 most common fantasy is for women.
CLICK HEREto look at previous blog entries.