“Dogging” or amomaxia (pronounced am-oh-max-ah) is an English term for a sport where people watch couples having sex in parked cars.  The couples in their cars perform for those gathered around their car.  Usually, the specific parking areas are known for this activity.  The couples have identified themselves as willing to be watched by turning on a colored interior light in the car.  Touching of the couples or unnecessary noise is not appreciated.  If you’re asked to leave, it is expected that you do so politely.

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The term “talking dirty” is used more often.

Some people may become extremely aroused by the sound of rarely used obscenities, which for others it is a turn-off.  It’s best to discuss the use of this prior to just blurting it out during an intimate moment.  The agreement of word-choice must be very specific because, for example, using the word “bitch” during sex may do nothing (or even offend the person), while hearing the word “slut” may actually bring the person to orgasm.

Some people like their partner to talk dirty but would never do it themselves.  As with introducing any sexual activity, communication between the partners beforehand brings about a better chance of the activity being a pleasant or sexually exciting one.

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Second, exercise increases blood flow throughout the body, including the pelvic area and genitals. As with Viagra, increased blood flow can improve sensation, lubrication, arousal and intensity of orgasm. In addition, some studies have shown that men who exercised were at lower risk for incidents of erectile dysfunction.

Exercise is not prescribed as the sole treatment for any sexual dysfunction although regular exercise is an important part of sexual health and functioning.

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According to J.L. King, who wrote the book On the Down Low, the “DL” or “Down Low” refers to men who consider themselves to be heterosexual – and/or in a heterosexual relationship – but engage in sexual contact with other men.

A man on the DL never admits to others that he is engaging in this behavior because he’s afraid of being seen as “gay.”  There are many negative cultural stigmas and pressures associated with being homosexual, consequently men on the “DL” believe this is their outlet or a way to have their cake and eat it too.

Unfortunately, many men who choose to be on the down low, according to King, also engage in risky unprotected sexual activities.  King warns of this problem, especially in the African American community, where homosexuality in men is perceived negatively.  The author, an African American male once “on the DL”, warns women to look out for these men not only because of the emotional pain they inflict but also because of the high risk of sexually transmitted diseases associated with unprotected DL sex.

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The vulva is the entire visible female genital area, including the anus.  The vulva has many major and minor anatomical structures, including the labia minora/majora, clitoris, and the opening of the vagina, etc.

The vagina is 5-7 inches long, shaped like a tube.  It tilts slightly to the small of the woman’s back.  During sexual arousal the vagina expands in both length and width.  Its elasticity allows it to stretch during sexual intercourse (with a penis, toy, finger etc.) and can also expand to allow the birth of a child.

The cervix is small and round and is located at the lower, narrow portion of the uterus where it joins with the top end of the vagina.  The cervix opens into the uterus, where menstrual blood and sperm can pass through.  Normally it is small but during childbirth it expands up to 12 cm for the baby to pass through.  The cervix shifts position along with natural changes in other internal organs.  Although the cervix has no nerve endings, it is sensitive to pressure and movement.

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The divorce rate remains high and a large percentage of marriages do end over infidelity. And even those who are happily wed grapple with the concept of lifelong monogamy. Monogamy is also a hot topic. Experts regularly speculate on whether or not it is human nature to mate for life.

In some relationships, spouse may ask their partner if they would consent to an open marriage.  When the “faithful” spouse is presented with this situation they will generally not agree to the proposal. On occasion, the faithful spouse will temporarily allow the arrangement merely as a tactic to “win” back the estranged partner. This generally backfires, which either causes the broken marriage to end, or it makes mending the marriage more difficult than it would be if the couple was on the mend from an affair without the “open marriage” proposal.

In the 1970’s, “open marriage” was a hot topic and some people decided to try it out.  Studies were done on the effect that open marriages made on these couples. What was seen then and since then is that it just doesn’t work. Open relationships are simply too tricky to navigate and one or both parties may end up falling in love with the “new” sexual partner(s), have difficulty with jealousy or other issues to say nothing of the increased change of sexually transmitted diseases.

Discussions about sex and fidelity continue to be a hard topic for many couples to navigate. Yet it’s one that cannot and should not be avoided. Couples who are able to talk about difficult topics stand a much better chance when the going gets tough in a relationship.  It is my opinion that talking with each other is healthier and is better place to turn to than an affair.

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In early 20^th century France, men would take their wives to brothels to watch special stage shows where a cast of prostitutes acted out a performance.  Females playing the roles of men wore “artificial phalli.”  Afterward men would persuade their wives to have sex with another male customer while they watched.  Those who didn’t have obliging mates would often resort to befriending a gentleman and offering to pay for a prostitute of his choosing, in exchange for being permitted to watch.

A voyeur is a person (usually male) who has recurring, intense sexual fantasies involving the act of observing an unsuspecting person who is naked, getting naked or engaging in sexual activities.

Condaulism and voyeurism are similar but not the same thing.  Condaulism always involves three people (in one role or another) and all three know what’s happening.  Voyeurism often, but not always, involves only one person and the victim is unaware they are being watched.

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Increases in anxiety can lead to low sex drive and difficulty with sexual performance and enjoyment for both men and women.  The following are some of the “Personality Traits” that researchers have found to create anxiety:

• Perfectionist
• Need for approval
• Fear of making mistakes
• Excessive need for approval
• Feeling inadequate
• Comparing oneself to others frequently
• Ignoring own feelings
• Resentment and frustration resulting from excessive need for approval
• Tendency to ignore physical and psychological signs of stress
• Push self too hard
• Ignore body signs of stress (i.e. fatigue, muscle tension, etc.)
• Excessive need to control
• Everything must be predictable

 
If you have anxiety that negatively affects your life (including your sexuality) you may benefit from talking to your partner openly or seeking professional help.

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If you suffer from anxiety or feel tongue-tied at holiday gatherings, here are some helpful tips:

• Smile and make eye contact.

• Be approachable and open to conversation.

• Join an ongoing conversation, ideally with a group that’s talking about a topic that interests you.

• Ask questions and be an active listener.

If you’re shy, talking to others can be challenging at first but will get easier if you keep working at it.  Accept your uncomfortable feelings and try some of the conversation tips (listed above).

Remember, office parties aren’t just for fun – they can serve a purpose, giving you the chance to network and to have an unhurried moment away from the office to chat with co-workers and your boss.

To deal with an office party:

• What’s the dress code? Ask the organizer or someone who attended last year’s event. If you’re not sure, wear business attire.

• Shake hands with your boss and other managers and wish them a happy holiday season. Make sure your manager sees you at the party and also remembers speaking to you. It could help in future promotion opportunities.

• Try to start new relationships and networks. Use the party as a starting point and follow-up with colleagues later.

• Before leaving, say “goodnight” and “thank you” to the party organizer, your boss and the most senior staff member in attendance.

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Now some Israeli doctors have tried yet another technique: shocking the poor thing. Using something they call “low-intensity extracorporeal shock wave therapy,” a team from the Rambam Healthcare Campus in Haifa actually succeeded in giving penises a boost.

A year ago, a study using both tissue in culture dishes and actual human erectile dysfunction patients appeared to indicate that applying shockwaves to the tissue sparked the growth of new blood vessels. Erections are caused by blood rushing into the penile vessels. As men age, they can accumulate vasculature damage. Sometimes as a result of diabetes or cardiovascular disease, the penile blood vessels degrade. E.D. pills like Viagra boost blood flow into the penis to compensate.

Now the team selected patients, many with complicating diseases like diabetes, who did not, or were no longer, responding to the pills.

In each treatment session, men were given 300 shocks over a period of three minutes, on five points along the shaft of the penis. There were two sessions per week for three weeks, then three weeks off, and then another three-week treatment period. The shocks were tiny, and the men didn’t complain of any pain or discomfort.

The goal was to see if the therapy would make the pills any more effective.

Two months after the treatments concluded, erections — improved in 75 percent of the 29 men in the study. Eight men, nearly 30 percent, had erections in the normal range when they used an E.D. pill. Blood flow improved in all the men. That’s pretty impressive considering seven of the men were already using the injections and two of the men were considering a penile implant — a drastic last resort.

The study authors stress that this was not a placebo-controlled trial of the technique and they plan more tests.

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